You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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