woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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