I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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