Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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