Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
