I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize