After last night, I could never be a politician.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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