I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
