He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
