if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
