There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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