He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
