I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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