yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize