We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
