every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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