we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I fill condoms, not promises.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
