Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
