i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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