you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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