I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
