Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
