I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
