Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I need moral support for this bender
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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