do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
