ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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