this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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