i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
