That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Did I show you my penis last night?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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