brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Quick, to the slutcave!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
