I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
