Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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