Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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