Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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