Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Never joke about your clitoris.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
