when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I need to calm my uterus...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
