Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he shaved USA in his pubs
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize