you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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