she was so not down for the gang bang
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
