Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
