Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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