So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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