she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is the high leading the old right now
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
