FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
