dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
where does the pee come out of this thing
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
