she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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