Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
