She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I cockslap morals
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
