I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
