thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
