hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize