Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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