Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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