Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I love you. Go after that dick
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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