we're blogging at a bar
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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