bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize