Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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