i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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